Return to Chaos or Adult Children Moving Home!!

Back yard in early spring - May 2014-KPMy adult children have moved back home for the summer.  In September, when both of them moved out of the house, I missed them terribly.   I wondered how I would ever fill my life again.  But I adjusted, as did my husband, but we did not really notice the adjustment.

It was not so much that our lives filled up again; it was more that our lives became spacious once more.  The house became quiet, tidy and serene.  There has been time to relax, to read, to write; more time to simply be.  There has been freedom from the many little tasks that tied us to the clock, to schedules, to plans.  We can eat when we feel like it; work later when we are in the zone; go for walks when the weather and sunlight align with our moods. We spend less time grocery shopping, cooking, and doing laundry  There is less need to coordinate schedules; we have not had to worry about picking people up from work; we have worried less about where our kids are when we go to bed.  Over the last eight months, we remembered the taste of freedom, the luxury of unscheduled time, the pleasure of acting spontaneously.

Adult Child's Room - Unpacked - KP

So, three weeks ago, when both of my “kids” (who are 19 and 23) moved home, it felt like a bit of a shock.  The house is upside down.  The garage, the basement and my office are stacked with furniture, boxes, and garbage bags full of belongings.  My daughter’s room is full of unpacked boxes, bags, and packs.  My son has set up a temporary studio in the basement and his bedroom is littered with clothing.  Their schedules are the mirror image of ours; they wake up 5 hours later than us, go out to parties when we are going to bed, and go to sleep a few hours before we wake up.  We are back to picking up my daughter after late shifts at work; worrying about our son when he has borrowed the car; and listening for her to return from parties at 3:00 in the morning.

Daffodil in Garden, May 2014-KPSo, while we love having our children home again, and we will savour this time together, we know that it will be much easier the next time they move out of the house!!

About kp

I am a woman and a mother, a sister and a wife. I have called myself a socialist and a feminist, an environmentalist and an activist, a pagan and an atheist. But, at this stage in my life, none of these labels feel right. I am searching; trying to find an inner calm; trying to make peace with life's disappointments; trying to answer the big questions in my own small life.
This entry was posted in Empty Nest, Healing & Compassion, Inspiration, Life, Parenting & Family, Personal Growth, Relationships, Stages of Life, Writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Return to Chaos or Adult Children Moving Home!!

  1. thank you for posting this!!! I don’t have adult children moving home, but I have two stepchildren who live with us for 2 weeks, every 2 weeks. I am such a quiet person and so enjoy the “spacious” life I have on my own. I sometimes feel as if I am going to lose my mind when they are here. THanks for helping me understand it is not just me begin a failure at handling a situation. I wish you well :)

    • kp says:

      Lord no! It is a surprise to me that I have enjoyed parenting as much as I have BUT it is an exhausting job under the best of circumstances. When we are immersed in it, we lose sight of what a tough job it is and how much we are juggling!! But also, in my opinion, one of the most satisfying jobs I have ever done!! Hugs to you…Kim

  2. Hehe :) What a shame your future self couldn’t have read this post back then!

  3. BIG BIG smiles here, as this sounds so familiar to me… LOL.. Yes the next time they move out with be with a big sigh of relief as you wave them good bye on their ventures :-) OH for a free nest! :-) I thought my own son would never leave home he was a true ‘Kipper’ as they say here.. :-) He was 32… LOL… We have had 7 yrs of bliss! He is 39 this year.. But I am so glad he is happy and now we have our 3 yr old Granddaughter who cutters our home in seconds with toys,, but we love that! :-) xxxx
    I so sympathise … Love to you Kim.. xox

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