“And of course I mind, specially when I’m thinking with my heart. But life don’t clickety clack down a straight line track, it comes together and it comes apart.” Ferron
Two and half years ago, when I began blogging, I was at a low point in my life. I had been terminated from my job. My son had just moved out. My husband had started a new job that had him travelling to remote communities for weeks at a time. I had lost my job, my colleagues, my son and my husband all within the same year. I felt like my life was falling apart. I felt angry and betrayed; scared and alone; sad and lonely. It was very dark stage in my life.
In that dark place, this blog became my life-line; a place to express my anger, fear and grief; a place to explore the dark depths of my soul. It became a place where I could find affirmations from people in a similar places in their lives; a place where I could find compassionate support. I feel like I have written my way through the darkness. Over the last two and a half years, I have let go…..of my son, my husband, my job, my friends, my role as mother, and my expectations of life. I have prepared myself for my daughter’s departure in the fall. While I am far from settled in my new place in life; I can see the shore. I feel myself straddling the two realities; savouring the dwindling days with my daughter living under my roof, and longing for the freedom that will come when she moves out.
I have not yet stepped into the new stage in my life, but I can feel the stirrings in my soul; of life beyond hearth and home; of dreams that were put on hold. It is time to claim the role of the Crone; of the wise woman who is connected but alone.
It’s a powerful thing to feel a great transition taking place in one’s life. I love that we have a model – in the crone – of what the next stage can look like. I feel the power in your statements as you step confidently toward this next stage.
Thanks Sally….I have not felt like writing the last few weeks….I thought there was something wrong; but I think it is more than I do not feel compelled to write; that I am feeling more settled with where I am and so quieter inside. Also, the weather….hard to stay indoors when it is so beautiful outside!! Kim
I’ve been feeling the same way, Kim. There is something lovely about that feeling of stillness. You can feel it in your writing.
How about you….you have not been posting as much. Is that because of you have been too busy or a sign of an internal shift going on??
It’s been very busy for me, but I’m definitely undergoing a bit of a shift right now too. I find I need time to process and reflect sometimes before I can write.
I wondered if the end of the alphabet might have more significance that one might expect…..I have been missing your writing!!
Thank you. Actually “Will” has re-entered my life and it is very sweet and good. I’m adjusting to a new place in my life that is stable and low key and happy. And I’m a little afraid to write about it just yet…
Oh…I am go happy to hear that…and totally understand that superstitious feeling!! Enjoy the beautiful weather in that sweet place!!
Oh, that is so nice to hear!! And I totally understand the anxiety about jinxing it!! So, just enjoy the wonderful weather in this sweet place!! kim
It’s great to hear your story, and the pieces weaving together, Kim. “Wise woman – connected but alone”..there is definitely strength in that.
Thanks Alarna…this is what we are aiming for….some days it feels like an illusive target!!
You are never alone! and its never too late to follow your dreams… Writing out our thoughts helps clear the way…….. Now its time maybe for YOU… for you matter!
Love and Light
~Sue xxx
Thanks Sue…I am starting to feel that; to remember the other things in life that I enjoy beyond family; and maybe even feeling a little excited about the freedom that is coming my way. But it is always helpful to be reminded by someone who is further along the path!! Kim
No I am no further along my friend… Maybe I just had to climb a little higher… But we are all the Same! xxxx
You are blessed with many beautiful memories. Your life has not stopped but changed from what you were comfortable with. Life is always changing.
Thanks Eddie…good reminder…the transitions between stages in our lives are always scarey. But it is good to have people who can remind us that there is living to be done in the next stage as well. Kim