Twists in the Road

What makes me think that the Universe has let me down when things move in a different direction than I planned or expected?  Last year, I spent about 20 unpaid days over a 9 month period putting together a project proposal.  I had a sponsoring agency, the right partners, a good project with the potential to protect many people from air pollution, and a funding pool with objectives that aligned nicely with my project.  But today, 7 months after submitting the proposal, I learned that the project will not be funded.

Now, at some level, this is not a big deal.  I am not living in a war zone; my community is not being devastated by AIDS; and my children are growing up in a safe and peaceful country that provides them with many opportunities.  But at another level, for me, today, this is a big deal.  Because this project was supposed to provide me with my income for the next year.  So, tonight I am having that conversation with myself again; the one about whether I can trust the Universe.

Last year, when I was waiting to hear about another proposal, I told a colleague that all my (unpaid) work would be for naught if the project were not funded.  She turned to me with conviction and said: “No it wouldn’t because some time down the road, funding would become available for this project, and people will remember that you put this proposal together.”  She was reminding me to trust the Universe; to trust that energy directed at good work that serves “the people” will be rewarded.

But I am also reminded of a lecture by Marianne Williamson when she says: “God is not your errand boy!”  It may be that the Universe plays no role in our lives at all.  Or maybe the Universe will provide another opportunity to do this project or one similar to it somewhere down the road.  Or maybe, I am supposed to do something else right now; something that would be more satisfying; or some piece of work that is more badly needed than the work I proposed.   Why would I think that I know better than the Universe about what I should be doing with my life right now?

If I am going to try to trust the Universe, I have to learn to see life’s unexpected twists and turns in different way.  Rather than seeing them as disappointments or failures or bad luck, I have to see them as directions, nudges or signs from the Universe.  I am going to have to learn to slow down, take a deep breath, and wait….for inspiration, new opportunities, or some sign about what is next.  I am going to have believe that the Universe knows better than me about what I need to be doing with my life.

About kp

I am a woman and a mother, a sister and a wife. I have called myself a socialist and a feminist, an environmentalist and an activist, a pagan and an atheist. But, at this stage in my life, none of these labels feel right. I am searching; trying to find an inner calm; trying to make peace with life's disappointments; trying to answer the big questions in my own small life.
This entry was posted in Healing & Compassion, Job Termination, Signs, God & Universe, Work Life and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Twists in the Road

  1. Hi KP,
    What a soul-beautiful reflection.
    I’m so sorry to hear that the grant didn’t come through. The hardest things to let go of are the ones that mean the most to us.:)
    Yesterday I made a downhearted post, too, and today in my email came this. It straightened me out.:) Lots of Love your way, Pam B.

    As received by Gillian MacBeth-Louthan

    We live in a world that is a whirlwind of thoughts, fears, expectations, and prayers. Sometimes it feels as if we are the little dinghies hanging on in the typhoon of life. Everything seems overwhelming, vast. We feel powerless and less powerful as we enter each and every new day. Moving forward as a little light trying to shine in a black hole consciousness.
    Every morning we wake up to a new day, a new opportunity. With our first breath and first thought we set up the energies for the entire day. We can breathe in the vast possibilities of a day filled with miracles and dreams come true, or we can breathe in a day just like yesterday, nothing more, nothing less.
    The quanta (unformed livingness) of life responds to us. It depends on us to achieve form (the good the bad and the ugly, upon occasion). We are the Coffee Filters through which the new day is poured. We are the river that directs the currents of our lives. We are the producers, actors and directors of the play we call life. When we do not like the direction that the play is headed, it is up to us to energetically intervene and change the stage, the props, and the well rehearsed lines of our life.
    We are a celestial singularity, as well as a celestial whole. We each have free will and free choice, and yet our free will and choice affects the outcome and the flux of all Creation. Every choice, every turn, every thought we have, creates a ripple effect touching everyone and everything in its wake. We selfishly think that our decisions and our choices are no ones business but our own. We each are as an ocean that holds within it precious life. If the ocean dries up, or surges, into a point beyond balance, everything it touches is affected. Look at the cells and organs of your body. Even though everything is a separate unit, it is also a connected consciousness and depends upon one other to survive. We all live in the body of the Universe. Each separate cells, yet all part of the Divine Oneness.
    The Universe as of late has created a ‘Common Denominator’ amongst the people of Earth. This is in an attempt to unite what seems fractured. Each part of the world is experiencing a forced ‘Unity” due to the extreme external situations and conditions which are permeating and saturating everything and everyone. We are receiving a wake up call from Mother Earth. She cries “Change easily, or change the hard way, it is up to you my children!” Not only does Mother Earth demand this, but everything we have taken for granted up to this point is also issuing this wake up call! Our lives seem not to be working. We try to repair them, but the repairs do not hold up in this higher energy.
    Our biological structures (bodies) are now receiving new Light cellular instructions on a daily basis. We are changing from the inside out. Nothing will stop or slow down this great change, for it is our destiny. The more we hold on to the old way of doing, of thinking, of living, the more uncomfortable these changes will be. Whatever is not for your highest good will fall away, no matter how hard you try to hold on to it. Let go of who or what you think you are, and what you think you want, and receive what has been cultivated by Divine Decree just for you! The perfect experience, the perfect time, the perfect size. This is a full body planetary experience. Religion, creed, race, and color does not matter. Everything is shifting into a higher order, a higher light, and a higher frequency.
    Who you are has been issued an emancipation, and is in the process of being set free. The butterfly cannot stay in the cosmic cocoon any longer. It is destined and designed to fly. All of this is a Gift from the Universe, not a punishment! Focus only on the fullness of your life, not the emptiness. Whatever is for your highest and best good, cannot be taken from you. Only those energies and experiences of a lesser vibration will be dissolved in this new light.

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